Kripalu Share Circle

When I walk over to the boards to check what's happen around the Krip today, I am sucked in by the Share Circle. This is what the description reads:

Practice this classic Kripalu methodology that employs the principle "the key to my
heart rests in the heart of another." Through this meditative listening and conscious
speaking technique, savor the concept of safe and sacred space. Relax, access, and
witness the power of your moment and others.

Today I am feeling overwhelmed by the influx of bubbly guests coming all over the world looking to turn into liquid with Shiva Rea or break boards with Goddess to the Core. Sometimes I find myself thinking, who do these people think they are? Where do they come from? Why are they in my space? What could have possibly happened to them to make them think that it's okay to act like that? Why didn't someone teach them they don't have to talk all the time? Why can't they look where they're going? What could possibly make her cry so hard? I have to get out of here...I have to escape...

Today, I stayed. I decided I needed a good ol' fashioned Kripalu Share Circle to try to connect back to the guests. To try to connect to myself again. To be fully present. To really listen to someone. And, maybe even to inspire. To change.

At 11am we came in and sat down on black cushions all alined for us in a circular formation. There are about fifteen of us. I look around the circle as we introduce ourselves, just a brief name and where we're from. There is a couple that oozes happiness and I can smell the sweetness of new love radiating from their every pore. There is a blond woman that had a halo surrounding her, but she gazes down at the floor and speaks every so softly. There is a big, strong man with piercing black eyes sitting directly across from me. He folds his hands in his lap, sits crossed legged and closes his eyes. There is a skinny, hyped-up woman with a crazed look in her eyes. The leader today is a confident, gentle soul. She sits at the front of the room and makes surface conversation with guests as they slowly trickle in. And, lastly I sit in my half lotus on the edge of my black cushion (krip-pillow as we jokingly refer to them) that was recently stuffed and feels too thick for comfort, I am wearing my red strapless flowing shirt, just trying to root myself into the ground. I close my eyes and just feel the energy in the room. I feel the people I am with. Deep breath in, sigh breath out.

The leader begins with a meditation on gratitude and an OM to open. We go around the circle one by one and say what we are grateful for today. I say I am grateful for waking up. How revolutionary. Ha.

There are a few basic guidelines the leader now goes over with us: What happens in the Share Circle, stays in the share circle. This is not a conversation, do not reply to anyone's share, the practice is in simply holding space. No one needs to be fixed. And, let out a breath together as each person finishes their share. This is just a safe place to be heard. Say whatever you want.
*NOTE no names will be used in this to respect the privacy of the individuals.

WE BEGIN.
The woman with the crazy eyes starts her share. She has worked for a company for thirty years. She was promised a pension after her thirty years and dreamed of returning to Nursing School. The company has gone back on their promise, no pension. Her husband's business has just failed. Does she still follow her dreams to return to school?

breath in. sigh out

I share next. I share that the guests make me nervous sometimes. I tell them that I want to be present, but my pattern is to run away. I am scared of what's next. I'm overwhelmed. And I am ever grateful for this place.
I close my eyes again.

breath in. sigh out

The man sitting directly across from me opens his eyes and his lips. He tells his story. Drugs, alcohol, lost his job/family/life. Rock bottom. He is building his life again. Grateful for all he has, but fearful it will be taken just as fast as it came. Great ups are always accompanied by great loss.
He closes his eyes.

breath in. sigh out

The woman with the halo meekly raises her hand to speak. My body automatically tenses and I don't even know why, yet. She says she is here for healing. She is here to let go. To be herself in whatever way she shows up. She starts sobbing. Her five year old son has died of the H1N1 virus. Five years old. She says she has cried, she has grieved. She is grateful of the time she got to spend with him. I am convinced she is an Angel.
We all close our eyes, praying I suppose, and I visualize light surrounding and comforting her.

breath in. sigh out

The next woman responds. This apparently triggered something within her. She says she is happy someone else has cried. I think, why are we so afraid of tears? Her daughter has just lost her legs in a car accident. She has been taking care of her grandchildren. She is sad. It is hard for her.

breath in. sigh out

There is a silence that comes across the room. The leader looks to the happy couple to share. The man just celebrates his woman sitting beside him. He is so excited. He can't contain it.

breath in. sigh out

We all discuss how yoga has helped lift us from the darkness. Maybe not lift, but more so find a sense of comfort within the darkness. A greater sense of self and spirit.

The leader shares this story:
It was back in the days when Kripalu was an ashram. There was silent breakfast... emphasis on silent. She was overweight. A child walked up to her as she was eating her breakfast and loudly asked, "Why are you so fat?". The whole dining hall gasped in awe. She replied, "God gave us all something to work on, and this is what I got." The dining hall gasped again, this time in relief.

We are all in this together. We are all "working on something". We are all going through something. I hope these stories can inspire at least a pause for reflection before passing judgement on another. Maybe an opportunity to practice patience. I know I would appreciate that for myself.

Jai Bhagwan

(Victory to Spirit)